Interesting word, friendship. I have friends. You have friends. Everyone has friends. Right?
I’m not so sure actually. What is a friend? I mean, I have friends of varying degrees. I have a group of school friends. I have best friends. But what does that even mean? What makes someone a “best friend?” And how are the the best if I have more than one? How do I decide who I am more friendly with? It could be based on anything. How much time I’ve spent with that person. How well I know them, their deepest are darkest secrets. How much I trust them, confide in them my secret fears.
And yet that poses even more questions. how do I choose who to trust? Why are they trusting me? I usually don’t think about this at all. I have friends, I talk to them, they talk to me. that is usually enough for me. However, certain events recently have forced to to reconsider, to step back and see who my true friends really are.
And I just thought that you should know
I like that term.
“True friend”
It holds a lot more value to me than “best friend” ever will. I have many best friends. I have lots of close friends. True friends however, cannot be categorised with those terms. The way I see it, a true friend is someone who you are… truly friends with. Someone who you trust, someone who trusts you. Someone who won’t leave you out in the cold. Someone who is there for you in those time when you really need them.
A true friend can be anyone. It can be that person you talk to every day and every night. The one who you haven’t seen in years, but when you talk to them, it’s like you were with they just yesterday. They can be the person you see once a week just for a little while, but you always leave smiling. They can be the person you have only met once, yet you speak to them like you have known them for years.
I’ve been holding on while you’ve been letting go
Best friends are useless. I don’t see the point of a best friend. Most of the time, a best friend is someone you have known for a long time. Does time actually mean anything? Sure it does, most of the time. But not always. Sometimes the person you have known the longest be the person who knows the real you the least. Best friends can also be someone you relate to the best. Surely, that makes them a true friend? No. What does it matter how much this person is like you? Does it matter if they are exactly like you? In the end, they are still going to betray you.
Can I be so bold?
Yes, it’s the sad truth. Your friends will betray you. All of them, at one point or another, will stab you in the back. It may be something small, like giving away a small, stupid secret, or it could be something major, like denying your friendship in front of someone else. They will betray you. Your friends, your school group, your sporting team, your band, your close friends, your best friends call them whatever you want.
They will betray you.
And this is where you realise the true nature of humans. This is where you see the true character of your friends. How they betray you is important. Does it matter that they told your crush that you like them? Not if they still spend every night on the phone with you, helping you deal with your family problems. This kind of person is a true friend. Someone you should hold on to, because it is rare to find friends who are so caring.
Cause all this sucking up to you is just getting old
The mark of the true friend is their ability to overcome betrayal. Because this works both ways. They may betray you, but you are going to betray them as well. It is your ability, and theirs, to get over this betrayal that really shows how “close” of friends you are. If you manage to get over it, push past the hard times and work out your problems together then congratulations, you have found yourself a true friend.
I’m not saying you can’t have best friends. Or close friends. They are there for you too. Your friends are always with you through the great times, and help you get through the difficult ones. But a true friend is someone you know you will be close to for life. Someone who would help you in anyway possible, at any time. Someone who isn’t afraid to acknowledge you friendship.
Someone who is there for you.
Well it’s not too late to say it right this time
There is only one final thing to talk about. Love. They say love transcends everything. Including betrayal.
No. The ones you love, they will betray you. Without question. And for anyone who thinks a betrayal from a loved one would be easier to handle? Think again. Someone you trusted, someone you needed, someone you loved betrayed you. They know how to get to you. They know you, maybe even better than you do. They know exactly what you love, and what you fear. They know how to get to you.
When someone you love betrays you…
It hurts.
Cause I know I said I’m sorry, but that’s not what I meant to say
Running From Sanity 