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So I didn’t actually write this… after finally being bored enough to visit MLIT, I found this legendary post. I spent some time going through it, and wrote down the best comments below to form a story of the world’s greatest warriors joining forces to once and for all defeat this… abomination.

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  “The Department of Magical Affairs is investigating claims of sparkling vampires and shapeshifting wolves nearly starting a war with Italy. This is a matter of Magical Security. Do not be alarmed, we have the situation under control. Thank you and please contact local Aurors if assistance is needed.”

   “As an ordinary wizarding parent trying to raise a family, I greatly appreciate all that the Ministry is currently doing to make the world a safer place for everyone. After the War, I’d started to lose faith in the Ministry entirely, but the fact that you guys are standing up to protect the people of the wizarding world means a lot to me. Especially since I’ll be able to let my screaming, teenage daughter out of the basement, where I locked her as soon as she went swirly eyed and started glomping everything that sparkles. I do believe that these monstrosities are spreading Amorentia.”

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   “We have heard of this disgrace all the way in the Shire, and this is Frodo Baggins, reporting for duty. Samwise is contacting Aslan in Narnia, and from what me Hobbit ears have heard, the USS Enterprise is on its way as well. We can meet you at Hogwarts as soon as we are finished with Second Breakfast".”

   “Frodo, we will meet you, Samwise, Merry, Pippin, as well as the forces of the Dwarves, Imladris, and Mirkwood at the Havens. Lorien and Rohan will journey with us. To Master Skywalker, Captain Kirk and Commander Spock, as well as Mr. Lestat– we are ever-grateful for more assistance, This is more than one world can handle alone… Sincerely, King Elessar of Gondor.

   “Hold your ground, hold your ground! Sons of Gondor, of Rohan, my brothers! I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day. An hour of woes and shattered shields, when the age of men comes crashing down! But it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good Earth, I bid you STAND, Men of the West! You have the aid of Gondor in this quest. As you already know, the Shire is ready to act, and the Elves are preparing themselves. Middle Earth marches to war once more.”

   “What of the Dwarves? Or do they hide in the mountains, seeking riches and caring nothing for the troubles of others?

   “Thank you for your concern. I have received word from Gimli son of Gloin that the Dwarves will be joining the Elves in this war effort. So you may rest assured that ALL of Middle-Earth will respond to this threat. Sincerely yours, King Elessar of Gondor.

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   “Ah! Earth, twentieth century! The air is fresh, no aliens are attacking, and… what’s this in the newspaper? Vampires are attacking the city? And they sparkle? …what? What? WHAT? Blimey, these invasions are getting weirder every time. Donna! Stop looking for the hatbox, we’ve got work to do! If only we still had one of those bowships… ooh! I know what I’ll do! I *think* I have the commlink number for the Serenity somewhere… Captain Reynolds? I think I have a job for you.

   “Sorry I’m late everyone, Had some trouble with The Rift and I didn’t get the message till too late! Gwen and I will be over soon and will help with the situation we’ve got going on here. Doctor, can you send me the co-ordinates?

   “Kirk here. The Enterprise has received your coordinates and we are en route to assist in any way possible. After being fully briefed on the gravity of the situation, I have advised the crew that all phasers should be set to "kill". We should be there in a few hours. Kirk out.

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   “Luke Skywalker here. You have the Jedi on your side. They haven’t yet reached our galaxy far, far away, but we’ve got the co-ordinates for Earth and we are headed there right away. The Sith Lord and Darth Vader have even made a truce with the Jedi. Captian Kirk, can we hitch a ride with you and Spock? The Millenium Falcon’s almost run out of fuel, and Mos Espa’s about a lightyear away. May the force be with you.

   “Luke, the Enterprise and her crew would be honored to assist you. We have received your coordinates and are preparing to rendezvous. Commander Spock would also like me to add: "Live long and prosper". Kirk out.

   “The SSV Normandy is on its way to your location, our weapons are fully charged and the ground team is prepped. You have our support.

   “Am I too late to attack the pathetic excuses of vampires? Pikachu and I got here as fast as we could, seeing that apparently Team Rocket’s message got blasted off again. Charizard’s a bit peaked about having to use Fly so often, but hopefully he has enough juice left to exterminate the one with the deformed nipple.

   “The Clans thank you for informing us of these ‘vampires’. We’ve had experiences with wolves before, and lost many great warriors to them. FireClan is preparing for battle as we speak. I spoke with Eragon Shadeslayer a half-moon ago, and he and Brightscales were eager to join this fight.

   “Cloud Strife here, Sparkly Vampire Freak Fans, have also taken over Midgar, our group of people have decided to join the fight against these people…hopefully, they’ll be out of our hair soon!

   “Timothy McGee here from NCIS. NCIS was notified of the current situation and I assure you the best agents in the US are on the case. My team-mates are ready for action. Ziva is sharpening her best knives, Tony is quoting GOOD vampire movies, Gibbs went out for more coffee earlier with an evil smirk on his face and I was ordered to inform The Department of Magical Affairs. We will all be ready to head to Washington soon. I think the FBI was also informed, but I doubt that they’d do much about these strange creatures and the stupid girl that’s caught in the middle of it. We’re ready to help!

   “Dear Mrs. Crawley, I have managed to round up at least 70 vampires from the town of Los Angles to assist you in your task. Give us a place and a few days, and we’ll be there to feed on however many sparkly vampires you need us to. Don’t worry if they bring guns or stakes, there is no possible way that they could get enough silver for all of us. And, as a final note, we will be armed. Heavily. -Mick St.John, P.I.

 

 

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   “My only excuse for Giles not finding out about this is that he keeps his ear to the ground for demons, not glittery immortal fairy stalkerboys. The Scoobies are on the case, even if we’re a little late! I’ve got Willow researching about the problem in these totally creepy books (she’s just a few chapters in, but I don’t know how much more she can take). Xander is sharpening me some new stakes, although I can’t say how much use they’re going to be–as far as I know, they only work against real vampires. Hey, if we can take the Hellmouth, we can take these guys! One Chosen One coming right up!

   “*sighs, rolls eyes* Sorry for the double post, but Xander will NOT leave me alone. He wants me to tell you, Captain Kirk and Commander Spock, that he is honored to be serving alongside you in the fight against the sparklepires, and would it be possible for him to get autographs later?

 

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(original post here: http://www.mylifeistwilight.com/view/Random/6197)

…Hello Past.

How are you? Or should that be, how have you been? We haven’t talked much lately, and that surprises me. We usually spend so much time together, reminiscing over times long gone. But you haven’t been around lately. Maybe it is my fault. I’ve been spending a lot more time with Future.

Do you remember all the times we spent together past? Those were the days… those memories we just couldn’t get rid of. I have a confession to make. I think… I think it’s time we went out separate ways.

I’m sorry Past. We’ve had some great times together. I remember all those amazing memories we’ve shared. But lately, all we seem to do is talk about the depressing times. The regrets. And there have been many regrets.

I am honestly surprised how easy it was to make the change from you to Future. Am am also surprised how much you seem to effect my view of Future. It seems as though you two are linked. When we have had a bad day, Future tends to be in a bad mood. When we have a great day Future also tends to be joyful. But I cannot live with this inconsistency. 

I won’t forget our great times together Past but… I think it is time for me to leave you behind… where you belong. I know it sounds cruel, but I can’t let you drag me down anymore. I won’t forget our good times. But I can’t dwell on what we could have been anymore.

Goodbye Past.

 

…Hello Future.

I know we have only just started talking, but I feel that I really need to say this to you. Ever since Past has started drifting away from me, you have started coming to me. At first, everything was going great. You would show me wonderful images of what our life could be like together. And I admit, you had my hooked. I wanted more. I couldn’t get enough of you .

But Future, we are moving too fast. We have only just met. I know we will meet again soon… but not know. There is still some time between us. I know I cannot run away from you, and I am not trying to. I just want to savor the moments before we meet for a final time.

Right now, you are too much for me to handle Future. I can never tell if you will be in a good mood or bad the next time we talk. And it’s killing me. When you are happy, we have the most amazing moments together, and it looks like our lives will be perfect. But Future, I don’t know if you realize this, but when you are sad, you drag me down too.

Our blissful existence becomes painful and unbearable, and every time I have to somehow find the strength to resist you, and walk away. This cannot continue Future… you hurt me too much.

I know that I should not see Past again. Just like I know I should see you anymore. But we both know I am not that strong… and that one day I will come back into your arms. And I ask you Future, please be kind to me. Don’t allow my weakness to destroy us.

It’s time to leave you now Future. Just as I have left Past. It is time for me to find the middle ground.

Goodbye Future.

 

…Hello Present.

Woo! I remembered!

Okay, here it goes. I have a friend.

…No, that wasn’t my big revelation. Don’t sound so surprised. I have friends.

Anyway, so I have this friend. I used to be very close to this friend. However, recently I’ve found that we are drifting. We barely talk anymore, and when we do, we cannot maintain a friendly conversation for more than a few minutes. I can’t be exactly sure why, I can think of many reasons but I don’t know how many of them apply.

I suppose one of the main reasons is the title of this post; respect. My friend has recently made some very bad choices. Well, when I say bad, I mean in my opinion, the choices were bad. My friend, and others, may disagree with me. To me however, they were the wrong choices. And it caused me to lose a lot of respect for this person.

Now I don’t know what to do. As far as I can tell, we are still friends. And I’ve tried talking to this person about the issue… let’s just say I’ve had better conversations.

I know I can be a judgmental person. I know I might be wrong. But these actions really changed my view of this person. And I don’t know if I can ever go back to seeing them like I used to.

Well… I suppose I have SOMETHING to write about, I mean I’m writing right now aren’t I? It’s just that I’ve been sitting here, staring at the screen for at least 10 minutes now, and I couldn’t even think of a title. And now, I don’t actually have anything specific to mention. Hmm… maybe I have writers block? Although, I don’t know if you can get writers block writing a blog… that would be strange.

I suppose I could just… not write anything. However it is currently 1:29am and I’m quite bored. I really have nothing else to do. Well, I suppose I could be doing chemistry home work or something but… nah. This is way more interesting. Maybe if I just keep ranting about nothing in particular, I’ll waste some time, and happen to come up with something to talk about too.

Guess I could start with my day. It was average. Really nothing special. It must be a Tuesday thing. All Tuesday’s end with double English, which is probably the best cure for sleep deprivation or insomnia known to man. It is also incredibly slow. If you are not one of the lucky ones, and haven’t dozed of after hearing the same list of page numbers read out for the 8th time, be prepared for a long lesson. a REALLY long lesson. Somehow English manages to warp time itself, resulting in a class that lasts three times longer than it should.

I know there was something important I wanted to talk about, but I can’t seem to remember it right now… I suppose I’ll remember sometime tonight and start writing it… for now I suppose I’ll go integrate something.

Because that’s how I feel right now. I can’t really explain how, or why… it’s very strange.

I had a good weekend. A double 18th last night, and spent most of today doing… nothing. Perfect. Just the way I like it. Now I’m sitting here writing this, while I SHOULD be studying for tomorrow’s spec sac… except that I really couldn’t care about it any less. I mean, does it matter if I end up failing? Yeah it probably does… but I don’t care. And I know I’m not going to do anything about it too.

See, there is something I know I am definitely not; responsible. I mean sure, when I need to, I can be. Alright… that didn’t really make any sense at all. Let me try again.Using examples… at last nights party I had to take care of a few people. You know how it is; your friend has had a bit too much, so you sit them down in the corner and distract them with shiny things. I was actually quite proud of myself for doing this.

Then there is the other type of responsible. The type that should have made me do my homework, or something like that. You know, the kind that stops be being lazy and just generally procrastinate for two days straight. I guess I have to cut down on the amount of shiny objects in my room.

Meh. Oh well. I can’t even be bothered finishing this.

I like coffee

I found this while looking for a video of Will Smith punching an alien in the face… I think it’s a very good outlook to have of life, especially in these tough times.

 

I also found this video which is great, I think the message behind it is perfect… This guy has way too much spare time.

 

And for those of you who were wondering… here it is:

welcome to earth… bitch.